Sweet Dreams

I've been getting inspired. I had rehearsal today for the film "Canine Custody" we're filming on Monday. I have to say I love this work more than anything. It truly fills my soul. I even enjoy auditioning. I know most actors hate it. I'm not saying that it's not wonderful to just have a role given to you but having done some casting I know that just isn't how it works. It happens of course but I love auditioning because it's a chance, an opportunity to try on a character. I love just being really present in that room and giving it all you got and being part of the creation of this character. Even if you're not whom they choose you are part of creating the character. Sometimes just in not being right for it, you're helping the casting people, director, producers etc get clear on what they don't want, and therefore on what they do want. Or you could be close and that helps get them closer. Or you could be it and that's just icing on that yummy cake I call my sweet dream. It's just wonderful to be following my dream. I had that audition on Friday and it felt good, that's where that little diatribe came from.

Today we had rehearsal and I realized that this is what I want to wake up for, that and writing. It's just coming together with fellow artists and creating something together, a sculpture out of clay but we're the clay. It feels so good and to be in the room with humble people, artists bringing it to the table. I was watching Black Snake Moan just a little while ago and I have to say I loved the movie. The metaphors, the acting, the message and the work everyone put into it. I really want to do gritty revealing work like that, stuff I believe in. It got me thinking about the film " The Visit" I was producing, that's been postponed, and all your heart that goes into a project. Really and literally your soul, as an actor, as a producer. If you're doing both like I was on that project you put everything on the line your work (the pays the bills kind), your name, your time, your trust, your dreams for yourself, the project and everyone involved. The thing is I love this work. I love telling the story, finding the story, creating the story! I have a deep passion for it. It was great watching the behind the scenes of Black Snake Moan and everyone really collaborated, they worked with each other. It looked like they didn't take for granted that you don't make a film by yourself, you can't. Even a one man show takes other people. It's interesting I thought about how today looking around the table at rehearsal, I was thinking about how we are all coming together to tell this story and every single one of us is necessary and integral to the whole. Not just the actors or the writer but also the director,DP, the crew and even the location, everything is conspiring to tell the story.

I am dreaming of working on this film and others in the future. I'm dreaming about being valued and really collaborating, not just words, and how much that really feeds my soul. I know and believe it's possible. I know I will do work like Black Snake Moan, that I am really proud of. Where I am allowed and encouraged to bring my creativity to the table AND be recognized for it. These are my dreams, these are the dreams of many actors, artists. I know my dream will be reality. I feel it in my soul.