I've been getting inspired. I had rehearsal today for the film "Canine Custody" we're filming on Monday. I have to say I love this work more than anything. It truly fills my soul. I even enjoy auditioning. I know most actors hate it. I'm not saying that it's not wonderful to just have a role given to you but having done some casting I know that just isn't how it works. It happens of course but I love auditioning because it's a chance, an opportunity to try on a character. I love just being really present in that room and giving it all you got and being part of the creation of this character. Even if you're not whom they choose you are part of creating the character. Sometimes just in not being right for it, you're helping the casting people, director, producers etc get clear on what they don't want, and therefore on what they do want. Or you could be close and that helps get them closer. Or you could be it and that's just icing on that yummy cake I call my sweet dream. It's just wonderful to be following my dream. I had that audition on Friday and it felt good, that's where that little diatribe came from.
Today we had rehearsal and I realized that this is what I want to wake up for, that and writing. It's just coming together with fellow artists and creating something together, a sculpture out of clay but we're the clay. It feels so good and to be in the room with humble people, artists bringing it to the table. I was watching Black Snake Moan just a little while ago and I have to say I loved the movie. The metaphors, the acting, the message and the work everyone put into it. I really want to do gritty revealing work like that, stuff I believe in. It got me thinking about the film " The Visit" I was producing, that's been postponed, and all your heart that goes into a project. Really and literally your soul, as an actor, as a producer. If you're doing both like I was on that project you put everything on the line your work (the pays the bills kind), your name, your time, your trust, your dreams for yourself, the project and everyone involved. The thing is I love this work. I love telling the story, finding the story, creating the story! I have a deep passion for it. It was great watching the behind the scenes of Black Snake Moan and everyone really collaborated, they worked with each other. It looked like they didn't take for granted that you don't make a film by yourself, you can't. Even a one man show takes other people. It's interesting I thought about how today looking around the table at rehearsal, I was thinking about how we are all coming together to tell this story and every single one of us is necessary and integral to the whole. Not just the actors or the writer but also the director,DP, the crew and even the location, everything is conspiring to tell the story.
I am dreaming of working on this film and others in the future. I'm dreaming about being valued and really collaborating, not just words, and how much that really feeds my soul. I know and believe it's possible. I know I will do work like Black Snake Moan, that I am really proud of. Where I am allowed and encouraged to bring my creativity to the table AND be recognized for it. These are my dreams, these are the dreams of many actors, artists. I know my dream will be reality. I feel it in my soul.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Thriving Thursday
Alright I've decided to just give in and indulge my love of the alliteration. Why fight it? They come easily to me and rather than sitting here racking my brain for a clever non alliterative post title I figure go with the flow don't fight it young lady! So It was a great Thursday even though I was boasting very little sleep. I was so tired last night but I could not go to sleep to save my life. I guess I get caught up in the various things I have to do and then my brain starts running rampant and wind down time and...you see where this is going don't you. Honestly I sometimes find myself very exhausting. But luckily I love myself so I choose to not break up with me. Instead I choose to accept my faults and instead resolve to give up coffee for the umpteenth time. The problem is I don't have many vices I don't really drink, smoke or do any other fun stuff. Adam Ants song don't drink, don't smoke what do you do, flitters across my brain. And like that with one fell swoop I just aged myself or professed a scary love for 80's music, either way I'm not telling. But I feel almost like I have to have a vice and sadly insomnia does not seem to qualify. Ah phooey, and there it is I'm truly a nerd and hence the need for a vice. I mean who says phooey other me?... and my fellow nerdians.
So I will start a new paragraph to see if I can escape the diatribe that ran away with me above. I had two auditions today and as of this posting I have been cast in one of the roles! Yeehaw! The film is called "Canine Custody" and I play an attorney for the husband who is trying to gain custody of the beloved dog. One of the wonderful aspects to getting this job, outside of the fact that the portion of the script I have read (I am awaiting its entirety) is excellent and the lead actress/producer was really just so kind and gracious, but the crowning part is they were looking to cast a man for the role at first and the role I had originally submitted for was cast before I was able to audition! Ergo and forthwith and what not, they changed the role to a woman after seeing me. I am feeling so blessed at this moment I am full of joy!!!
Alright, I am sooo happy and its a comedy. I love comedy as you may know if you've been with me for any period of time, I am a self proclaimed sitcom whore. What can I say, give me a good, well written sitcom with actors with superb comedic timing and I am riveted. My favorites at the moment are "Girlfriends", "Dharma and Greg" and always "Scrubs" but I am taking a hiatus from "Scrubs" because they only show a limited release of seasons and I can quote entire episodes, okay so I exaggerate but I don't want to overload on them, kind of like too much good chocolate it would be a shame to overindulge. One of my dreams is to be on Scrubs which would be great considering it's their last season coming up and I believe filming begins in August. well I just put it out there in the universe and who knows. No matter what I would love to work with several of the cast members in the future. So I also went on a go-see for Makari cosmetics today. I didn't meet the height requirements but as the job I got today testifies you never know, just stay open and appreciative for the opportunity to be seen and to even be doing what you love. Lord knows I am and they said they needed someone, an actress with teleprompter experience for future projects and well I'm your lady. So I will end on this positive note. I want to go read my script... we film on Monday and rehearse on Saturday and I have another audition tomorrow...Hallelujah! Life is truly delicious.
So I will start a new paragraph to see if I can escape the diatribe that ran away with me above. I had two auditions today and as of this posting I have been cast in one of the roles! Yeehaw! The film is called "Canine Custody" and I play an attorney for the husband who is trying to gain custody of the beloved dog. One of the wonderful aspects to getting this job, outside of the fact that the portion of the script I have read (I am awaiting its entirety) is excellent and the lead actress/producer was really just so kind and gracious, but the crowning part is they were looking to cast a man for the role at first and the role I had originally submitted for was cast before I was able to audition! Ergo and forthwith and what not, they changed the role to a woman after seeing me. I am feeling so blessed at this moment I am full of joy!!!
Alright, I am sooo happy and its a comedy. I love comedy as you may know if you've been with me for any period of time, I am a self proclaimed sitcom whore. What can I say, give me a good, well written sitcom with actors with superb comedic timing and I am riveted. My favorites at the moment are "Girlfriends", "Dharma and Greg" and always "Scrubs" but I am taking a hiatus from "Scrubs" because they only show a limited release of seasons and I can quote entire episodes, okay so I exaggerate but I don't want to overload on them, kind of like too much good chocolate it would be a shame to overindulge. One of my dreams is to be on Scrubs which would be great considering it's their last season coming up and I believe filming begins in August. well I just put it out there in the universe and who knows. No matter what I would love to work with several of the cast members in the future. So I also went on a go-see for Makari cosmetics today. I didn't meet the height requirements but as the job I got today testifies you never know, just stay open and appreciative for the opportunity to be seen and to even be doing what you love. Lord knows I am and they said they needed someone, an actress with teleprompter experience for future projects and well I'm your lady. So I will end on this positive note. I want to go read my script... we film on Monday and rehearse on Saturday and I have another audition tomorrow...Hallelujah! Life is truly delicious.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Fireworks Baby!
What is it about fireworks that turns us all into 5 year olds? There is something about the rumbling and the explosions that turn grown and sometimes hardened and bitter new yorkers into glib and wide eyed children if even for only 30 mins. We all stare in wonder at the colors in the sky. Oohs and Ahhs escape our lips and various murmurs of pleasure. People turn to one another and exclaim cool and wow to complete strangers that moments ago were potential thieves to be eyed with suspicion and if not thieves certainly potential view blockers!
This year I did not have to fight the multitudes for a piece of sidewalk to watch the festival of lights. I had procured the ultimate in 4th of July festivities in New York, the party on the east side with a view. One of my awesome house mates in the Hampton's a few weeks ago invited myself and many of the others to a 4th of July party. It was on the 16th floor of an apartment in Murray Hill just two avenues away from the east river and boasting a balcony no less. It was a fun party and everyone was very cool (kudos to the host), heard some good stories, fine wine and various other choice beverages were there for the imbibing but once those fireworks started... Almost everyone went to the balcony which was certainly large enough to hold the lot of us, but did not stop me from having visions of falling out of the sky. I am not one for heights if you have not already guessed.
What was interesting is that an apartment full of people suddenly became fairly silent except for wow and oohs and intermittent clapping (that may have been me). We all became little children and the few times I wasn't transfixed by the lights, I glanced around and saw rapt faces and the little kid in everyone just shone on their faces. When it was over the disappointment was evident but we put our grownup faces back on and went back to chatting. It was just so interesting to see two very different sides to everyone in a short period of time. I never made it to Guest House even though a wonderful girlfriend of mine was throwing a party. The rain kept me at bay, as it so easily does. In addition to heights I am also not a huge fan of rain especially when wearing gorgeous t-strap leather and suede maroon shoes. It was a gamble but it had to be made, it was the closest I was going to come to wearing red with my blue jeans and where I was wearing white is none of your business. Luckily the rain made intermittent visits throughout the evening allowing for us to enjoy the Macy's fireworks fairly dry and to exit the party with minor damage to the shoes although my umbrella did not fair better. C'est la vie. You play you win, you play you lose,You play. All in all I had a great 4th of July. Viva America!
This year I did not have to fight the multitudes for a piece of sidewalk to watch the festival of lights. I had procured the ultimate in 4th of July festivities in New York, the party on the east side with a view. One of my awesome house mates in the Hampton's a few weeks ago invited myself and many of the others to a 4th of July party. It was on the 16th floor of an apartment in Murray Hill just two avenues away from the east river and boasting a balcony no less. It was a fun party and everyone was very cool (kudos to the host), heard some good stories, fine wine and various other choice beverages were there for the imbibing but once those fireworks started... Almost everyone went to the balcony which was certainly large enough to hold the lot of us, but did not stop me from having visions of falling out of the sky. I am not one for heights if you have not already guessed.
What was interesting is that an apartment full of people suddenly became fairly silent except for wow and oohs and intermittent clapping (that may have been me). We all became little children and the few times I wasn't transfixed by the lights, I glanced around and saw rapt faces and the little kid in everyone just shone on their faces. When it was over the disappointment was evident but we put our grownup faces back on and went back to chatting. It was just so interesting to see two very different sides to everyone in a short period of time. I never made it to Guest House even though a wonderful girlfriend of mine was throwing a party. The rain kept me at bay, as it so easily does. In addition to heights I am also not a huge fan of rain especially when wearing gorgeous t-strap leather and suede maroon shoes. It was a gamble but it had to be made, it was the closest I was going to come to wearing red with my blue jeans and where I was wearing white is none of your business. Luckily the rain made intermittent visits throughout the evening allowing for us to enjoy the Macy's fireworks fairly dry and to exit the party with minor damage to the shoes although my umbrella did not fair better. C'est la vie. You play you win, you play you lose,You play. All in all I had a great 4th of July. Viva America!
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Bringing it Back
Going to see the fireworks tomorrow at a friends house, party etc then I've been invited to Guest House and it seems wed nights are the night to go out so...I may have to swing by. So I've got a bunch of auditions coming up this week and we start filming again on the show, "Tempting Joanna". Talk about answered prayers I was feeling a little like things were getting slow and then bam 3 auditions came up today and a go-see from one my agents. Yeehaw very happy about that. Acting is truly where my heart is and it is definitely a career that constantly tests my faith. I'm appreciative to have a love, acting that is, that puts me constantly in a place of having to have faith, to be in the moment and still have to plan to keep things in motion whilst releasing expectation! It's like a weird, wonderful, wild spiritual metaphysical way of living wrapped up in a career. I have no idea if that makes any sense but it is really a wonderful challenge and I obviously love it, shoot, you gotta in this business.
So I'm thinking about last year this time and I am so grateful for how my life has changed!! I can't begin to sing out how happy I am for where my life is and the very awesome people I have for friends, the work I'm getting, the auditions, I am so happy. What's really interesting is being happy or rather joyful even when having doubt's and wistful moments but choosing to see all the blessings. I know it may sound hokey but it's really where I am. It's really kinda neat to be in that head space. I think I'm gonna take myself to the movie's tomorrow after my run and yoga see if i can't undo all that good work with a vat of soda and a trough of popcorn. Honestly though if it takes two hands to lift up the soda haven't we gone too far!?! Not that I should talk I plan my meals around a movie day. You have to figure out how to reconcile a 1000 calories worth of soda and god only knows of popcorn. Alright I guess I'll have to run and do the elliptical tomorrow...oh wait and I'm going dancing tomorrow score! Excellent it's settled then. Sweet dreams, ciao.
So I'm thinking about last year this time and I am so grateful for how my life has changed!! I can't begin to sing out how happy I am for where my life is and the very awesome people I have for friends, the work I'm getting, the auditions, I am so happy. What's really interesting is being happy or rather joyful even when having doubt's and wistful moments but choosing to see all the blessings. I know it may sound hokey but it's really where I am. It's really kinda neat to be in that head space. I think I'm gonna take myself to the movie's tomorrow after my run and yoga see if i can't undo all that good work with a vat of soda and a trough of popcorn. Honestly though if it takes two hands to lift up the soda haven't we gone too far!?! Not that I should talk I plan my meals around a movie day. You have to figure out how to reconcile a 1000 calories worth of soda and god only knows of popcorn. Alright I guess I'll have to run and do the elliptical tomorrow...oh wait and I'm going dancing tomorrow score! Excellent it's settled then. Sweet dreams, ciao.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Yoga Yoga BoBoga Fo FanFana....
Alright so I am blatantly amusing myself and most likely no one else and to this I say... what else is new? I am generally seeking to amuse only one person and if there is more added to that number then bonus! But one is the aim, sorry audience whoever you are. So I dragged myself kicking and screaming to a yoga class this evening. I was kicking and screaming for two reasons one I am not yoga friendly and two I was upping my running schedule today and was trying desperately to get out of it. Very pathetic for a trainer huh? But honest nonetheless. I think its ridiculous to pretend I'm also sailing to the gym on gossamer wings. I keep going for several reasons the first being I made a commitment to myself, the second once I'm there I have a great time working out, third I am highly competitive so this fuels the first and second and fourth I am going to live long damnit and I want to do it looking and feeling good. Mostly the looking good part, the feeling good comes from looking good because it is better to look good than to feel good and you look marvelous! Come on I had to do the Billy Crystal SNL reference there was no way around it!
Back to the Yoga, I am trying to...no I AM starting to take Yoga classes every day because I am not a stretcher. If I do not get myself in front of people to force myself to stretch I will not do it. There I've told you my dirty secret now leave me alone (said in that 1940's movie style and then I throw myself onto the couch). Yeah so that's my secret unless I am in the proper environment I will not take the extra time to stretch. I want to become more supple, finally learn to do a split and generally find that calm place (ha),learn to breathe and get into really odd poses that nobody in their right mind should...Okay so I'm being silly, it's a time honored 5000 year old spiritual practice and I find it challenging albeit silly at times. Alright so maybe it's not the yoga itself I find silly but rather myself when twisted into a pretzel. Oh boy I was a pretzel today with one leg wrapped around the other and my elbows and arms entwined. Whew.
I really love the challenge of it. I am strong but put me in pretzel position, I believe that is the technical name, and I am falling over, it's not my forte but soon, soon muahahaha (said like a mad scientist) I will take over the yoga world! Alright but I'm not kidding I am going to master this thing. I'm just trying to discover which type is best for me and find a teacher or a few that I like. I find that a good portion of my life lessons have to do with discipline. Discipline for my carers to continually submit my head shot, to make sure I sit down and write everyday, not just this blog but my book and screenplay ideas, my fitness blog. Discipline for my body, to work out, to eat well, basic maintenance. Discipline for my heart and spirit, to meditate, take time for myself to play and rest. So I will, I am adding yoga to the mix for my body, spirit hopefully it will help me segue into meditating on a more consistent basis. Alright I speaking of discipline I mus go to sleep I will take my leave of you. Namaste.
Back to the Yoga, I am trying to...no I AM starting to take Yoga classes every day because I am not a stretcher. If I do not get myself in front of people to force myself to stretch I will not do it. There I've told you my dirty secret now leave me alone (said in that 1940's movie style and then I throw myself onto the couch). Yeah so that's my secret unless I am in the proper environment I will not take the extra time to stretch. I want to become more supple, finally learn to do a split and generally find that calm place (ha),learn to breathe and get into really odd poses that nobody in their right mind should...Okay so I'm being silly, it's a time honored 5000 year old spiritual practice and I find it challenging albeit silly at times. Alright so maybe it's not the yoga itself I find silly but rather myself when twisted into a pretzel. Oh boy I was a pretzel today with one leg wrapped around the other and my elbows and arms entwined. Whew.
I really love the challenge of it. I am strong but put me in pretzel position, I believe that is the technical name, and I am falling over, it's not my forte but soon, soon muahahaha (said like a mad scientist) I will take over the yoga world! Alright but I'm not kidding I am going to master this thing. I'm just trying to discover which type is best for me and find a teacher or a few that I like. I find that a good portion of my life lessons have to do with discipline. Discipline for my carers to continually submit my head shot, to make sure I sit down and write everyday, not just this blog but my book and screenplay ideas, my fitness blog. Discipline for my body, to work out, to eat well, basic maintenance. Discipline for my heart and spirit, to meditate, take time for myself to play and rest. So I will, I am adding yoga to the mix for my body, spirit hopefully it will help me segue into meditating on a more consistent basis. Alright I speaking of discipline I mus go to sleep I will take my leave of you. Namaste.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Mosquitoe Madness
Finally feeling better. The sniffles have subsided and although I slept for 11 hours!! I feel like I am back on track. I missed out on a roof top birthday party yesterday for one of the girls I met in the Hampton's. I almost went out anyway but homey don't play that any more. I have to take care of myself first and foremost otherwise what kind of message am I sending to myself or the universe? That's how I see it anyway. My first commitment has to be to me and my health and well being. I felt melancholy about it though last night was a beautiful night from what I could gather from my post in bed with the remote in hand. Also it was a full moon and I love the full moon although I definitely get affected.
So anyway, unwell or not got some weight training in yesterday but skipped the running. I'm trying to build my cardiovascular health and stamina but not to worry you will (probably) never see me run a marathon for many reasons. Although I am aware what an achievement it is and the commitment it takes, I think it is so bad for your body and should only be administered, doled out as a form of punishment for misdeeds not something you choose to do. It's my feeling about it but I do have a lot of respect for people who do it, God bless them and their knees.
I have a lot to do this week in terms of getting a visa for my trip to Africa and vaccinations and pills for malaria. Honestly I am terrified of the mosquito situation I am told as a child I was once taken to the hospital for a reaction to too many mosquito bites. I am, apparently, a very tasty meal for mosquitoes. When I went to the Bahama's some years ago I had counted 14 bites on just my left forearm alone. The problem is I have no restraint when it comes to scratching the itchy remnants of their feast upon my flesh and then they balloon to the size of walnuts, the bites that is. As attractive as you can imagine that is to look at, the worst part is I look like some rabid dog with serious fleas just scratching and scratching away my flesh and then I have scars. The End. Wasn't that a nice story?
So I am having intense fear about the mosquitoes and I now will have to discuss the amount of Deet I will bringing with me and bathing in. Which brings me to the potential poisoning that will occur from having copious amount of Deet seeping in through my pores and possibly changing my DNA which if it makes me an unsavory meal for my treacherous flying friends I am all for it! But more likely i will probably just lead to discoloration of skin and various other health problems and... Whoa not cool I just looked up Deet poisoning and it is very real thing and they say people have had their DNA changed!!! Damnit! (Deet article) I am really sensitive to pollutants and my skin is sensitive and apparently according to this article my only recourse will be to become a large welt. I also am not particularly keen on taking pills and doesn't taking Malaria pills mean they give you a dosing of Malaria?! Alright I think I have had enough of thinking about this about working myself up. I have to talk to a doctor and I also need to do some research on homeopathic remedies, topical and otherwise etc. Okay I will take my leave of you now on this note as I see the mosquito that took it's toll on me last night circling. Ugh.
So anyway, unwell or not got some weight training in yesterday but skipped the running. I'm trying to build my cardiovascular health and stamina but not to worry you will (probably) never see me run a marathon for many reasons. Although I am aware what an achievement it is and the commitment it takes, I think it is so bad for your body and should only be administered, doled out as a form of punishment for misdeeds not something you choose to do. It's my feeling about it but I do have a lot of respect for people who do it, God bless them and their knees.
I have a lot to do this week in terms of getting a visa for my trip to Africa and vaccinations and pills for malaria. Honestly I am terrified of the mosquito situation I am told as a child I was once taken to the hospital for a reaction to too many mosquito bites. I am, apparently, a very tasty meal for mosquitoes. When I went to the Bahama's some years ago I had counted 14 bites on just my left forearm alone. The problem is I have no restraint when it comes to scratching the itchy remnants of their feast upon my flesh and then they balloon to the size of walnuts, the bites that is. As attractive as you can imagine that is to look at, the worst part is I look like some rabid dog with serious fleas just scratching and scratching away my flesh and then I have scars. The End. Wasn't that a nice story?
So I am having intense fear about the mosquitoes and I now will have to discuss the amount of Deet I will bringing with me and bathing in. Which brings me to the potential poisoning that will occur from having copious amount of Deet seeping in through my pores and possibly changing my DNA which if it makes me an unsavory meal for my treacherous flying friends I am all for it! But more likely i will probably just lead to discoloration of skin and various other health problems and... Whoa not cool I just looked up Deet poisoning and it is very real thing and they say people have had their DNA changed!!! Damnit! (Deet article) I am really sensitive to pollutants and my skin is sensitive and apparently according to this article my only recourse will be to become a large welt. I also am not particularly keen on taking pills and doesn't taking Malaria pills mean they give you a dosing of Malaria?! Alright I think I have had enough of thinking about this about working myself up. I have to talk to a doctor and I also need to do some research on homeopathic remedies, topical and otherwise etc. Okay I will take my leave of you now on this note as I see the mosquito that took it's toll on me last night circling. Ugh.
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