Freedom in Truth?

So I was watching the movie the Freedom writers and I was touched and inspired by the story. I think it's hard not to be. As I was watching, amongst a multitude of feelings and tears not just for the people in the story but for my own life, revelations and struggles. I realized one that I had not felt inspired in a long time and i started to write, to pour out my feelings (not here) and I wrote for a little while and went back to the behind the scenes features. I was mulling over this blog and how it started because I want to write, to express , myself, my views, my heart and my trials. What I realized though is that I have been holding them in for fear of hurting other peoples feelings, when the truth is I'm hurt. The thing I don't want to hurt becuase I've been hurt but I do want to express. I want to stop censoring myself so that other people can feel better when I may be holding back not only my voice but someone else who may recognize themselves in me and realize they have a right to their own.

I want to recount my trials in acting, being a writer and a human being who is consciously struggling to make choices that support what I want my life to be, my art and my heart. What I was realizing though is I haven't been here not for awhile I've been hiding and just struggling to stay afloat. Holding back my emotions and thoughts so that I could, yes process them but also so as not to rock the boat. The boat that I think I was under so how could I rock it? anyway I'm going to try to write more truthfully because quite frankly if I don't then why bother there's enough fluffy crap out there I don't have to add to it. But also I think when you speak the truth it resonates and I want my voice, tune to resonate somewhere even if it's only with me. o here is a pledge to keep revealing myself even if it's scary. Even if it means I have to write through the fear of rejection. I mean hell if I've got an issue with rejection I sure picked some tough careers! Anyway that's what I had to say. Be well.

Jittery Jumping Jacks

I may have to end my love affair with coffee. Yes it's true. I'm not saying I'm going to I just may have to. I had an audition today for a Law Firm Commercial and I had just had a cup of coffee, not a good idea. You're adrenaline is already pumping at one of these things and then to have your heart racing because of a beloved drink-not good. But it went well besides my getting jittery toward the end. So as always, learning. I had another audition later for an acting troupe and it turned out the director was looking at my resume and noted my degree was in Geology and he also has an degree in Geology! How is that for odd?!! I told him if nothing else I have a story. I'm always happy to be out there meeting people, networking etc. I have rehearsal almost every day this week. So yay! I love to work!

My father is leaving for Tanzania tomorrow morning so my life is going to be shifting to a more normal schedule. I'm going to miss him but it'll be good for me to have less distractions. I've had a reduction in my client base recently so I've decided to spend more time writing. So again more of a shift toward the life I wish to be leading. Although the bills must be paid. I'm sure the universe has something good in store for me. I'm ready for the next step. Okay I'm going to sign off. Ciao.

Long Live Vigo!

That was the name of the film I shot today. I played Vanessa Vigo a jewel thief. It was a lot of fun. It was filmed using green screen technology. The basic premise is that I am a jewel thief and my co-star and love interest is a cop and that spells problems. The director was very cool and he said he'll be writing something in the future with me in mind, which is awesome. It was a good day. I also got called in for an audition today and luckily I had time to go before getting to set. Tonight the Emmy's are on, so I always like it when I'm working on the day there is an award show that I intend to be attending some day soon. It was pretty straightforward and I was able to get home and spend a little time with my Dad. I also noticed that on Mandy's.com there is an ad for the web commercial , Get U Noticed I did last year. More exposure! I'm really happy about that. I've got 2 auditions tomorrow and I am pretty exhausted. So I'll check back in tomorrow till then Ciao.