Have I mentioned that I love my life?I was offered a part in the film I auditioned for last week in Long Island. It was a different part then the two I had read for. I would love to do it but I am awaiting word on their production dates as I am going to be in Africa for the currently proposed dates, but I am hopeful. Wow and Hello! I am going to Afrika!!Safari Afrika ya!! So narrowing everything down, getting someone to watch my cats and various other things one must do before leaving on such a big trip. I am very much hoping to have work to come back to which would/will be so glorious. I am so excited right now, I'm practically bursting out of my skin!
I'm going to spend some time with best friend and force him to help me pack. Then it's up tomorrow at 5:30am, my favorite!! I will check in later.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Musings and Revelations
Ah I have slept in 2 days in a row! Deliciouso! I do love my sleep I just wish I could get it by going to sleep earlier but I got some so... no complaints! My best friend from high school is in town which is wonderful. I have very high expectations of what I expect in a friendship, because of what i give and deserve. And when I am around, or in touch with the people who have proven themselves to be steadfast and trustworthy friends, I know why I expect a lot. I have amazing friends who give a lot of themselves, and did I mention trustworthy? God I cannot explain how much that means to me. I really appreciate my time and I won't spend it with just anyone and there are few people for whom will I drop everything for but for those I will, they are well worth it. I mistake some people for good friends and well that always unfortunate, but you learn.
People you can trust your ideas with, your heart, that don't take who you are for granted. The people I call my closest friends I can not talk to them for months but when I do no time has passed, just events. there are truly generous of spirit and heart, but in the truest sense not because they're looking for something in return. I guess I am more keenly aware of this because my best friend is in town. But I will say this it is important to give people a chance, even if they, mess up, sometimes it's the messing up that awakens one to the value of the friendship.
I am puttering about as I am wont to do. I'm packing and putting things in a pile. I am mentally preparing myself for this trip. I'm also preparing for a very important audition. It's occupying a great deal of my mind and my thoughts. I keep trying on these characters and what motivates them. And GOD it's so fun. I truly love this work. I mean in my heart and deep down into my soul and sheesh. It's just joyous. I was watching Stomp the Yard, wow the techniques and the work they put into this movie. I was really impressed. I have found much in my life comes down to discipline. I have great respect for discipline and commitment. In work, in relationships, in life. Discipline and commitment are the foundations, oh yeah and being impeccable with your word. But simply my view is, if you're not impeccable in with word, there is no foundation for commitment or discipline. And that my dear is that. I have a great respect for people who are firm in these things. I am impressed by it and moved by integrity. Which for me are all really intertwined, your integrity makes you impeccable with your word, and commitment and discipline are the tools you use, the manifestations of your integrity. If you don't have integrity in your personal life, than you probably don't in your work life. The two are not separate , in fact nothing in this life is, separate that is.
Hmmm. I guess both my rants are connected, as I'm looking over them. My close friends are the people who have a lot of integrity in the way they live their lives but also in how they treat me. I respect that and because I respect them I treat them the same. I give my all in friendships, in relationships and in work, which I don't hold separate from my life. My art is my life as is everything else, all just expressions of who I am and what I wish to see and be and be apart of. I'm just excited about my life and all I'm learning, about my trip. And I'm real appreciative not just to have the opportunity to learn but to have people to love and be loved by as I walk through this delicious adventure, journey called life.
People you can trust your ideas with, your heart, that don't take who you are for granted. The people I call my closest friends I can not talk to them for months but when I do no time has passed, just events. there are truly generous of spirit and heart, but in the truest sense not because they're looking for something in return. I guess I am more keenly aware of this because my best friend is in town. But I will say this it is important to give people a chance, even if they, mess up, sometimes it's the messing up that awakens one to the value of the friendship.
I am puttering about as I am wont to do. I'm packing and putting things in a pile. I am mentally preparing myself for this trip. I'm also preparing for a very important audition. It's occupying a great deal of my mind and my thoughts. I keep trying on these characters and what motivates them. And GOD it's so fun. I truly love this work. I mean in my heart and deep down into my soul and sheesh. It's just joyous. I was watching Stomp the Yard, wow the techniques and the work they put into this movie. I was really impressed. I have found much in my life comes down to discipline. I have great respect for discipline and commitment. In work, in relationships, in life. Discipline and commitment are the foundations, oh yeah and being impeccable with your word. But simply my view is, if you're not impeccable in with word, there is no foundation for commitment or discipline. And that my dear is that. I have a great respect for people who are firm in these things. I am impressed by it and moved by integrity. Which for me are all really intertwined, your integrity makes you impeccable with your word, and commitment and discipline are the tools you use, the manifestations of your integrity. If you don't have integrity in your personal life, than you probably don't in your work life. The two are not separate , in fact nothing in this life is, separate that is.
Hmmm. I guess both my rants are connected, as I'm looking over them. My close friends are the people who have a lot of integrity in the way they live their lives but also in how they treat me. I respect that and because I respect them I treat them the same. I give my all in friendships, in relationships and in work, which I don't hold separate from my life. My art is my life as is everything else, all just expressions of who I am and what I wish to see and be and be apart of. I'm just excited about my life and all I'm learning, about my trip. And I'm real appreciative not just to have the opportunity to learn but to have people to love and be loved by as I walk through this delicious adventure, journey called life.
Friday, July 27, 2007
What?!!?
So I'm training my client this evening and I decide to look at my flight itinerary for my trip next week and I discover that I am in fact leaving the U.S. on August 2nd and arriving in Dar Es Salaam on August 3rd. Now this came as a shock to me because for some reason i have been under the impression that I was leaving the 3rd. So in addition to feeling that perhaps my thoughts of myself as being quite bright were maybe a little overshot but also I have lost an entire day! I have been planning on training people on Thursday and doing and last minute stuff, going to a birthday party wed evening. I mean I have lost an entire day! Oh well, on the bright side I'm really glad I looked and caught that today as opposed to, like say Thursday!?!!
So as I grieve for my lost day, I might as well grieve for my lost sleep. I'm not sure where I have put it and I desperately miss it. I am operating on approximately 4 whole hours, 2 of which occurred between the hours of 2 and 4 this afternoon. Not 2 solid hours mind you, but 2 nonetheless. Another client of mine today, after the one where I discovered my trip departure faux pas (whom by the way told me it was one of the most incoherent flight itinerary she's ever seen, even if it was an attempt to make me feel better I'll take it) said maybe I need a break. The lack of sleep is well a fair indicator. But tell me this, who's gonna catch up on sleep, when there is a country to explore??! I am not planning on sleeping a whole bunch on my trip but perhaps I'll sleep better. I am, truly, tired of it, the insomnia that is, and yes pun intended. Even as I mourn my lack of sleep, I am so loving my life, I can't even find the strength to complain, nor reason to.
I mean I have so many opportunities occurring for me right now, that in and of itself is delicious. I am claiming my life as a writer and an artist. I am about to embark on a trip of a lifetime. I am constantly learning and discovering new things about myself. Breaking patterns and dissolving limiting beliefs opening myself up to new challenges. seeing good and bad in things around me and finding forgiveness and again the lessons?!?!? I mean really this is the stuff of life. I started out my day on set of educational industrial for ANDA. It was a lot of fun and a short day. I mean hell yeah. Even though I'm tired as all get out I made to the gym and rode the spin bike for 30 minutes. I have finally given up on chastising myself for not enjoying running. I am not a fan of running. I am in awe of people who do it and maybe out in the mountains on a dirt road I'd be there but on a treadmill no thank you. And truthfully I highly doubt even then I'll be a fan, but you know as they say, never say never. However, my knees are just not thrilled about it and I doubt they'll change their mind but we'll see.
I totally forgot my best friend is coming to town! Wow I am tired, so on that note I am going to watch The Fountain which so far seems rather promising. I mean a love story and time travel?...heck you got me. I will give you a report tomorrow. Ciao.
So as I grieve for my lost day, I might as well grieve for my lost sleep. I'm not sure where I have put it and I desperately miss it. I am operating on approximately 4 whole hours, 2 of which occurred between the hours of 2 and 4 this afternoon. Not 2 solid hours mind you, but 2 nonetheless. Another client of mine today, after the one where I discovered my trip departure faux pas (whom by the way told me it was one of the most incoherent flight itinerary she's ever seen, even if it was an attempt to make me feel better I'll take it) said maybe I need a break. The lack of sleep is well a fair indicator. But tell me this, who's gonna catch up on sleep, when there is a country to explore??! I am not planning on sleeping a whole bunch on my trip but perhaps I'll sleep better. I am, truly, tired of it, the insomnia that is, and yes pun intended. Even as I mourn my lack of sleep, I am so loving my life, I can't even find the strength to complain, nor reason to.
I mean I have so many opportunities occurring for me right now, that in and of itself is delicious. I am claiming my life as a writer and an artist. I am about to embark on a trip of a lifetime. I am constantly learning and discovering new things about myself. Breaking patterns and dissolving limiting beliefs opening myself up to new challenges. seeing good and bad in things around me and finding forgiveness and again the lessons?!?!? I mean really this is the stuff of life. I started out my day on set of educational industrial for ANDA. It was a lot of fun and a short day. I mean hell yeah. Even though I'm tired as all get out I made to the gym and rode the spin bike for 30 minutes. I have finally given up on chastising myself for not enjoying running. I am not a fan of running. I am in awe of people who do it and maybe out in the mountains on a dirt road I'd be there but on a treadmill no thank you. And truthfully I highly doubt even then I'll be a fan, but you know as they say, never say never. However, my knees are just not thrilled about it and I doubt they'll change their mind but we'll see.
I totally forgot my best friend is coming to town! Wow I am tired, so on that note I am going to watch The Fountain which so far seems rather promising. I mean a love story and time travel?...heck you got me. I will give you a report tomorrow. Ciao.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Sidewalks of New York
I believe that was the title of a movie. OK I have a pet peeve I need to air here. I am sure it's not particular to New York but I know it happens here all the time. Here it is, do not speed past me to get in front of me and then slow down! What the %$8#@ is that?!? And the flip side, pretend you're aware that you're not the only person on the planet and let me get by. Just shift to the side it's not that hard people, it's called awareness. I don't want to be so up on you that I can count your neck hair. I really don't and I'm not trying to be rude but I am trying to get somewhere and if it's your day off or you're strolling and stopping to smell the roses, hey that's cool too. But don't force me to do so with you, just move to the side let me by. I never mind it if I'm having a slow day (when does that happen?) and I'm strolling, to just shift my body to let a person get on with their journey to their destination. I am aware that some of my frustration is that I live in midtown and there are a lot of tourists. However, this does not give you the license to act like the only person or people on the sidewalk. In fact some of the same rules one would apply to driving in your respective hometowns apply here but on the sidewalks.
While we're on a this subject here's a topic that relates. What's the thought process behind stopping at the bottom of the stairs or the escalator? I'm just curious. Or the top of the stairs for that matter? Let me understand this you're getting off the escalator for example and you're not sure what your next step is going to be or where you're going. And apparently you've decided that the best recourse to discovering this, is to stop at the bottom or top of the stairs/escalator, you name it, right in front of it because....? Because you're the only person on it?The only person in the universe? I just can't get my head around it and it irks me to no end. Just move to the freaking side! Oh my God, it's not that hard people, just move to the side! It's called awareness, manners, a brain, whatever you want to call it just do it. Get out the way. You're pissing me off and I'm seriously wondering when Darwin is going to kick in with this business. I mean really.
So that's just my feelings about it. The title sidewalks of New York could really lead to so many topics but alas this was the one I felt the need to exorcise. All that being said, I'm out. Ciao.
While we're on a this subject here's a topic that relates. What's the thought process behind stopping at the bottom of the stairs or the escalator? I'm just curious. Or the top of the stairs for that matter? Let me understand this you're getting off the escalator for example and you're not sure what your next step is going to be or where you're going. And apparently you've decided that the best recourse to discovering this, is to stop at the bottom or top of the stairs/escalator, you name it, right in front of it because....? Because you're the only person on it?The only person in the universe? I just can't get my head around it and it irks me to no end. Just move to the freaking side! Oh my God, it's not that hard people, just move to the side! It's called awareness, manners, a brain, whatever you want to call it just do it. Get out the way. You're pissing me off and I'm seriously wondering when Darwin is going to kick in with this business. I mean really.
So that's just my feelings about it. The title sidewalks of New York could really lead to so many topics but alas this was the one I felt the need to exorcise. All that being said, I'm out. Ciao.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Flowing days
I'm just eking out the rest of my day. I am exhausted. I can't go to sleep before 3am which is just ridiculous and I'm tired of it, Pun intended!! I know some it has to do with general excitement with all the wonderful things going on in my life, one part things hanging over my head that I need (bad word) to do and another part, I'm just a night owl. I mean I always have been as little girl I was staying up reading until 2 am by the sliver of light by my door, hello glasses. What can you do? I did it to myself. But I've been trying to look at the insomnia thing by asking myself what it costs me. What am I less likely to do because I'm tired? What do I get less enjoyment out of because my brain is operating at a slower capacity? they say that getting less than 4 hours of sleep is tantamount to being drunk, well I don't drink but sometimes my word retrieval is less than extraordinary. C'est la vie. So it costs me plans sometimes, and maybe a workout or two and definitely... this is big... I get to chastise myself. Aha that's it, everything is going really well and I am sabotaging my full experience of the joy because I'm so tired I'm not fully present. Booya, that is an epiphany! Alright well now I can do something about it from the perspective of knowing why. I will not chastise myself so I get not payoff and well I'll figure the rest out but that really was a grand slam.
So it turns out they are going to go ahead with the production dates that conflict with my trip but I still believe you never know. Until camera's rolling anything can happen and even after that. So I am just happy about the people I met and all the creation and momentum that went into the last week. Great news on another front though, I just booked an educational industrial for Anda this Friday. I'm psyched. I don't know the particulars yet but I do know it's a cafe scene and I'm a professional type, well alright then. You want it, you got it. I got tons of business attire which I find amusing because I so am not the office type but I do love a good suit. So i await the particulars and I celebrate the work I get and don't get.
Oh yeah I went to Long Island today for an audition for a horror Film. How fun would that be? I so do not watch horror films but I would love to be in one. The reason I don't watch horror films is simply I am a scaredy cat, that and my imagination is just fine on it's own. I do not need help in that department whatsoever. I am still traumatized by Nightmare on Elm street, forget Carrie, The Shining or The Exorcist. I just can't go there. Even some psychological thrillers are too much for me. I personally can't take too much violence but mostly it's the supernatural Amityville horror stuff and you got me screaming Uncle. On the other hand I would LOVE to do a film like Grindhouse! I haven't seen it yet but that machine gun leg Rose McGowan had?!! Hello!!? That's just hot and looks like a load of fun and awesome challenge. I dunno but of course I would just love to work with Tarentino and Rodriguez. Anyway it would be great to branch out and do a horror film. We'll see what happens either way I had a great day and I am gonna kick this sleep issues derriere! Ciao.
So it turns out they are going to go ahead with the production dates that conflict with my trip but I still believe you never know. Until camera's rolling anything can happen and even after that. So I am just happy about the people I met and all the creation and momentum that went into the last week. Great news on another front though, I just booked an educational industrial for Anda this Friday. I'm psyched. I don't know the particulars yet but I do know it's a cafe scene and I'm a professional type, well alright then. You want it, you got it. I got tons of business attire which I find amusing because I so am not the office type but I do love a good suit. So i await the particulars and I celebrate the work I get and don't get.
Oh yeah I went to Long Island today for an audition for a horror Film. How fun would that be? I so do not watch horror films but I would love to be in one. The reason I don't watch horror films is simply I am a scaredy cat, that and my imagination is just fine on it's own. I do not need help in that department whatsoever. I am still traumatized by Nightmare on Elm street, forget Carrie, The Shining or The Exorcist. I just can't go there. Even some psychological thrillers are too much for me. I personally can't take too much violence but mostly it's the supernatural Amityville horror stuff and you got me screaming Uncle. On the other hand I would LOVE to do a film like Grindhouse! I haven't seen it yet but that machine gun leg Rose McGowan had?!! Hello!!? That's just hot and looks like a load of fun and awesome challenge. I dunno but of course I would just love to work with Tarentino and Rodriguez. Anyway it would be great to branch out and do a horror film. We'll see what happens either way I had a great day and I am gonna kick this sleep issues derriere! Ciao.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Degrees of Separation
So it turns out the "Only in America" project I was going on several callbacks for is filming when I'm going to be in Africa. I am disappointed because it seems like it could have been fun. The casting director was pretty sad because she told me I was her strongest candidate. Awesome! It's funny because I am sad I couldn't do it but ultimately the experience of auditioning that many times is so wonderful. I am holding out to see, you never know what can happen. Maybe they'll change the dates, I know whatever is supposed to happen is what will. Either way, I absolutely loved the casting director. A totally cool lady, just someone I could see chilling with. She was very excited for me about my trip and was teaching me a Swahili greeting when we got clear on the dates and the conflicts. It turns out she learned or studied Swahili at Columbia. I trained at Columbia for several years and i mentioned that to her. At which point she mentioned that she knew someone who used to train at Columbia and he was now married to a girl she was very good friends with in College. The person turned out to be my brother's best friend! Someone who I've known since he was 12 and basically consider a brother. Our families have celebrated together at Christmas on several occasions.
What I find so interesting about this is here we are talking on the phone, I've come in for several callbacks 3 to be exact, but with 2 of those days being doubles. All this while and we didn't know that we were separated by one person. But it was just good energy and vibes. I just find it so intriguing. This happens all the time. It's just a small 6 billion person world and I love that. So anyway I have to go become one with a cone of Ice Cream..YEAH! I have an audition out on Long Island! I know but I'm going to use it as an opportunity to write a fitness blog I've been delinquent on. But all things in their time, all things in their time. Okay tomorrow I gotta be up at 5:30am Blech! But I am very blessed to have such a flexible job so, so it goes. Ciao.
What I find so interesting about this is here we are talking on the phone, I've come in for several callbacks 3 to be exact, but with 2 of those days being doubles. All this while and we didn't know that we were separated by one person. But it was just good energy and vibes. I just find it so intriguing. This happens all the time. It's just a small 6 billion person world and I love that. So anyway I have to go become one with a cone of Ice Cream..YEAH! I have an audition out on Long Island! I know but I'm going to use it as an opportunity to write a fitness blog I've been delinquent on. But all things in their time, all things in their time. Okay tomorrow I gotta be up at 5:30am Blech! But I am very blessed to have such a flexible job so, so it goes. Ciao.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Goodness Gracious!
So I'm getting ready for a banner day tomorrow. The trinity of an audition, a callback and a go-see. I am psyched but it does take some planning. How can you dress for 3 separate and different looks without trucking a big bag all day and on top of that gym clothes. So I am puttering about my house, writing, watching TV (looking for my commercial), getting my clothes together, hair etc. Composing my new Fit Chic blog, that I'm remiss on getting back. I'm planning my meals, what I'm gonna do at the gym tomorrow and what have you but I'm mostly I'm going over these roles I received sides for. I'm sort of doing all these things but as each of these women. It's really fun. I love trying on a new pair of shoes so to speak. That is what drew me to acting the first place. I was really shy and still am for the most part. You have to look beneath the veneer of social creature I have donned and is of course one of my sides. I almost wrote one of my personalities but people usually get scared by that. And the personality of mine that is very conservative said "Don't write that people will think you're crazy". Of course Katerina thinks I should say whatever pops in my head. Whoops, did I let one out?
Of course as usual I am amusing myself. And anyone really close to me knows I'm also not joking. I think we all have many facets to our personalties and it's best to embrace them. Even the dark side, because as you know "What you resist, persists". I had a marvelous day. I trained my clients today and I found myself drawn to church (Times Square Church". I hadn't been in about a month, although I'm always listening to spiritual podcasts be them Christian in nature, Gnostic (which is more truly Christian than most realize), New Age or whatever. But I was really moved to go and I was trying to figure out when and which service to go to, because I had to get to the gym (I had already used up my two "rest" days) and various other things. So I was greatly moved to go the 3pm service. The whole time I'm figuring I'll just go to the worship part and then go to the gym. So I get there and I'm singing and it's fabulous. Later when the preaching is about to start, I'm lamenting that I'm 5 people into the row, I'm not really going to get up and get out so I bargain with myself that I'll wait until they finish showing the video.
Well, guess what the video was about? The mission to Burundi that I ultimately did not go on but my that contemplating spurred a deeper connection with my Father and my upcoming trip to Tanzania! So I'm just floored, I'm essentially looking at the land I will be in in 13 days. i was so moved and I was just sitting there so excited with tears in my eyes. Not just for the excitement but just for the land, the people, the continent, the beauty. So that was wonderful and after the video there were just various people coming up and talking about the trip. There was also singing in the native Kurundi. IT was fantastic!! So I didn't have to sit through a sermon, which by the way I usually love, they have great Pastors but I just wasn't in the mood. It was essentially ordered up for me the perfect experience. If I wasn't already so excited, there it was for me my trip ahead. So I am really filled with joy about the trip, not the mosquitoes I will encounter but rather everything else. I'm also very concerned about the coffee situation as in will I be able to have some and with what water will they brew it? Because I am not going to Africa and sitting around sick if you get me. But I will not put too much attention on any of that. I'm going to see my Father and my sister and brother that I've never met 5 and 8 respectively!!
so I will continue doing my puttering about and getting ready for a really lovely day tomorrow. I have to get my Visa and malaria pill description. Damn I hate taking pills but you gotta do what you gotta do. I just love that I had such a lovely day because I listened to that still voice inside me. How glorious is that? Oh I got this wonderful quote today from one of the many motivational, inspirational emails I get daily and I will leave you with that. Ciao.
"I am who I choose to be. I always have been what I chose - though not always what I pleased."
Of course as usual I am amusing myself. And anyone really close to me knows I'm also not joking. I think we all have many facets to our personalties and it's best to embrace them. Even the dark side, because as you know "What you resist, persists". I had a marvelous day. I trained my clients today and I found myself drawn to church (Times Square Church". I hadn't been in about a month, although I'm always listening to spiritual podcasts be them Christian in nature, Gnostic (which is more truly Christian than most realize), New Age or whatever. But I was really moved to go and I was trying to figure out when and which service to go to, because I had to get to the gym (I had already used up my two "rest" days) and various other things. So I was greatly moved to go the 3pm service. The whole time I'm figuring I'll just go to the worship part and then go to the gym. So I get there and I'm singing and it's fabulous. Later when the preaching is about to start, I'm lamenting that I'm 5 people into the row, I'm not really going to get up and get out so I bargain with myself that I'll wait until they finish showing the video.
Well, guess what the video was about? The mission to Burundi that I ultimately did not go on but my that contemplating spurred a deeper connection with my Father and my upcoming trip to Tanzania! So I'm just floored, I'm essentially looking at the land I will be in in 13 days. i was so moved and I was just sitting there so excited with tears in my eyes. Not just for the excitement but just for the land, the people, the continent, the beauty. So that was wonderful and after the video there were just various people coming up and talking about the trip. There was also singing in the native Kurundi. IT was fantastic!! So I didn't have to sit through a sermon, which by the way I usually love, they have great Pastors but I just wasn't in the mood. It was essentially ordered up for me the perfect experience. If I wasn't already so excited, there it was for me my trip ahead. So I am really filled with joy about the trip, not the mosquitoes I will encounter but rather everything else. I'm also very concerned about the coffee situation as in will I be able to have some and with what water will they brew it? Because I am not going to Africa and sitting around sick if you get me. But I will not put too much attention on any of that. I'm going to see my Father and my sister and brother that I've never met 5 and 8 respectively!!
so I will continue doing my puttering about and getting ready for a really lovely day tomorrow. I have to get my Visa and malaria pill description. Damn I hate taking pills but you gotta do what you gotta do. I just love that I had such a lovely day because I listened to that still voice inside me. How glorious is that? Oh I got this wonderful quote today from one of the many motivational, inspirational emails I get daily and I will leave you with that. Ciao.
"I am who I choose to be. I always have been what I chose - though not always what I pleased."
Lois McMaster Bujold
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