Musings and Revelations

Ah I have slept in 2 days in a row! Deliciouso! I do love my sleep I just wish I could get it by going to sleep earlier but I got some so... no complaints! My best friend from high school is in town which is wonderful. I have very high expectations of what I expect in a friendship, because of what i give and deserve. And when I am around, or in touch with the people who have proven themselves to be steadfast and trustworthy friends, I know why I expect a lot. I have amazing friends who give a lot of themselves, and did I mention trustworthy? God I cannot explain how much that means to me. I really appreciate my time and I won't spend it with just anyone and there are few people for whom will I drop everything for but for those I will, they are well worth it. I mistake some people for good friends and well that always unfortunate, but you learn.

People you can trust your ideas with, your heart, that don't take who you are for granted. The people I call my closest friends I can not talk to them for months but when I do no time has passed, just events. there are truly generous of spirit and heart, but in the truest sense not because they're looking for something in return. I guess I am more keenly aware of this because my best friend is in town. But I will say this it is important to give people a chance, even if they, mess up, sometimes it's the messing up that awakens one to the value of the friendship.

I am puttering about as I am wont to do. I'm packing and putting things in a pile. I am mentally preparing myself for this trip. I'm also preparing for a very important audition. It's occupying a great deal of my mind and my thoughts. I keep trying on these characters and what motivates them. And GOD it's so fun. I truly love this work. I mean in my heart and deep down into my soul and sheesh. It's just joyous. I was watching Stomp the Yard, wow the techniques and the work they put into this movie. I was really impressed. I have found much in my life comes down to discipline. I have great respect for discipline and commitment. In work, in relationships, in life. Discipline and commitment are the foundations, oh yeah and being impeccable with your word. But simply my view is, if you're not impeccable in with word, there is no foundation for commitment or discipline. And that my dear is that. I have a great respect for people who are firm in these things. I am impressed by it and moved by integrity. Which for me are all really intertwined, your integrity makes you impeccable with your word, and commitment and discipline are the tools you use, the manifestations of your integrity. If you don't have integrity in your personal life, than you probably don't in your work life. The two are not separate , in fact nothing in this life is, separate that is.

Hmmm. I guess both my rants are connected, as I'm looking over them. My close friends are the people who have a lot of integrity in the way they live their lives but also in how they treat me. I respect that and because I respect them I treat them the same. I give my all in friendships, in relationships and in work, which I don't hold separate from my life. My art is my life as is everything else, all just expressions of who I am and what I wish to see and be and be apart of. I'm just excited about my life and all I'm learning, about my trip. And I'm real appreciative not just to have the opportunity to learn but to have people to love and be loved by as I walk through this delicious adventure, journey called life.