I am having a delicious day. Not without it's setbacks and minor trials but delicious nonetheless. I had a very rare day off and I am trying to somehow slowly get back into what could be called a normal sleep pattern. My insomnia is off the charts these days with Tuesday being no exception I was able to boast 3 whole hours, 2 of which occurred in the middle of the day. Even though exhausted I could not go to sleep tuesday evening until 3:30am, but I did mange to eke out 6 hours. I am not sure exactly what is keeping me up, I don't mean the obvious i.e. things to do, but rather is there something I'm stressed about-yes- rent or something else? I think I know what it is and will tie it into the post title. Something very wonderful is happening and I can feel it. It's a little like being a little kid on Christmas and barely being able to go to sleep because you just can't wait for it to be morning. Yet you know if you don't go to sleep it'll feel like forever until morning comes. So ultimately you go to sleep because if you do morning will come faster.
I have had a delicious week and it is only the middle! Okay what is making it so delicious? What is in the air that is keeping me awake at night?!!? I honestly don't know but things are shifting in my life and I have just been having faith. I had a great audition/interview yesterday and today. I met an amazing casting director through the interview yesterday and an amazing director/writer/actor today. I just love being around creative people. So today I have a wonderful meeting with this director, he's speaking my language, I feel comfortable even though I was 15 minutes late. Which, by the way, is a no-no and also not my style. I felt comfortable for two reasons one the vibe in the room was awesome and you could just relax into it. But also I was praying the whole time up to it. I was trying to be calm and assume everything happens the way its supposed to etc etc.
It was interesting because this is the second audition I've had in two days that were downtown near the World Trade Center. Now I guess I may have been more freaked out if I knew I had left late and/or not been in the right frame of mind. But the other thing may be, it's hard to be down at that site or around it and not realize whatever you think is important at this moment, whatever you're fretting about is probably not what you would want your last thoughts to be. In the grand scheme of things it's not the, God I have paused for 10 minutes not wanting to say, it's not the end of the world. Because, well, I think you know why. Being down there you get a perspective on your life and get really grateful to be alive. Whenever I go downtown I give myself ample time because I am useless when I get to the name streets. I have no idea what or where I am going and, I deeply want one of those car GPS systems attached to me. I am not kidding, I don't want just a hand held GPS, I want something that talks to me and tells me what direction to go and whether I am going in the wrong direction. I grew up on the upper west side and I need a grid, people, I need a grid! I first not only managed to go past my stop and which of course meant I had to go right back up. But then I went the wrong direction and around the site which meant I had to retrace my steps because, there is no way to go through, obviously.
I didn't really put it together until much later and it dawned on me that I feel like this to some degree whenever I am downtown. I just feel kind of lost. I grew up with the Towers and I don't know where I am downtown without the them. I could always figure out where I was in relation to the Towers. You're either east or west of them or north or south of them. I had a similiar sensation when I was on the ferry to Staten island a couple of years back. I was looking back at the city as we moved away from it I was mildly hyperventilating and having separation anxiety because, well I was going to Staten Island and that in and of itself is a reason to feel fear. But as I was looking at the city, I felt like it didn't look like my city. I felt a pang and a loss for the landscape I had known all my life. It is always a revelation to realize how much I'm still affected even in the simplest of ways.
It ties into my day in that I try to always be aware of what I have to be grateful for. So I meet this wonderful director who was gracious about my tardiness and meanwhile it's so humid my hair is expanding by the millisecond. As my Mother would put it, when it's trying to take over Manhattan. In truth whether I get to be a part of the project or not, when you meet great people who are doing the kind of work you want to do, that is the universe saying to you you're on the right track. That, my friend, is delicious!! So I'm on my way back uptown and the train is taking forever, as I said and just illustrated this day was not without it's trials, I feel moved to write the director a thank you email, which I do not always do. So later in the midst of writing the email, the casting director/producer of the TV show I interviewed for yesterday calls me and asks me to go in tomorrow and Friday to test with other people!! Holla!! So I'm floating on cloud nine, mind you I am just grateful for the chance to see these people and to be called back etc. That's how you know you're in the right profession or place, the joy to just be able to have the opportunity. So, on top of that,I go to the gym for a gym date with a girlfriend I haven't seen in forever and and when I come back I got an email from the director today saying he'll be in touch with me next week! If today was an apple or a peach I would just bite into it, seriously I would. I'm just riding the wave and honestly I am elated. Now I would just like to add rested to the dossier. Ciao.
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
Blessings they are Abounding!
I feel like I should start a sermon with a post title like that but in truth I'm just vibing off an awesome day. It's so interesting to me how I can have 4 hours of sleep but put me on a set and I'm just not tired unlike anything else I do. Don't get me wrong i love my clients and most certainly I'm blessed to be able to call many of them my friends and I genuinely enjoy training them etc but it's nothing compared to the joy I feel acting. It's another echelon of feeling. The surge of energy that goes through your body I can only describe it thus, it's electricity and it's definitely charged. It's also so wonderful when you work with amazing people.
The cast and crew were phenomenal not just in terms of the energy and down to the earth vibe but just hard working without drama. And of course there was drama...IT's a film of course there's drama! But it was minimal, the P.A.'s didn't show, which was so not cool but the director/actress/writer/producer was awesome and very composed. Gracious and genuinely kind, and there were no diva's or divo's on the set which was also wonderful. No one was like where's my coffee and you know, the energy was very laid back. I have to attribute that to the person at the helm. No one was taken for granted, i.e. our time and I am starting to see something about inspiring people in a way that they are happy to work for you. There's something to that I think it comes down to being genuine.
It was a great day. The Dp was awesome, the crew as I mentioned. The boom guy I've worked with before and we couldn't figure out on what until I sat down at this big long table and we both got it. It was a film I worked on last year, where I played an FBI agent, called "Butterfly Screams". I was playing an attorney this go around but it was the sitting at a big official table that brought it back. Anyway that brings me back to the PA's not showing, in this business, it's a small community it's like cutting your nose off to spite your face. Also I believe I worked with the woman who played the opposing counsel. We didn't pin point it we were too busy having amazing metaphysical conversations.
It's great to be around people who talk the talk AND walk the walk. I think with that last statement I just had an epiphany, you draw people to you who are of like mind ( I know that but sometimes it hits you). But sometimes you can caught up with who just talk the talk, no judgments, they're not there yet but they think they are. It's very interesting or perhaps they're trying but they're using the words but not the actions. You know do unto to others as you would have done unto you as so forth. Sometimes it seems I have to get hit on the head to see what's been right in front of my face, all the signs. You also have to pay attention to who and what people are bringing to them. If it's consistent it's probably not a fluke. As usual I digress, today was one of those days when the stars are just lined up and everything was grooving amidst the setbacks which is the way it should be. If it's right in your heart it'll shine through the dark times. So those are some of the blessings going on today. I'm just really feeling things are back on the road I had not felt under my feet for a little while. It's all good lessons and "hard times" teach you and you get really appreciative when you're appreciated through word and action.
I love this work I truly do. It didn't hurt that I was coming off such an amazing weekend of inspiration in the choice of movies in my repertoire. Good times, I really feel the blessings abounding! Hallelujah! I'm gonna bask in it, the peaks and the valleys, they're all yummy in their own way.
The cast and crew were phenomenal not just in terms of the energy and down to the earth vibe but just hard working without drama. And of course there was drama...IT's a film of course there's drama! But it was minimal, the P.A.'s didn't show, which was so not cool but the director/actress/writer/producer was awesome and very composed. Gracious and genuinely kind, and there were no diva's or divo's on the set which was also wonderful. No one was like where's my coffee and you know, the energy was very laid back. I have to attribute that to the person at the helm. No one was taken for granted, i.e. our time and I am starting to see something about inspiring people in a way that they are happy to work for you. There's something to that I think it comes down to being genuine.
It was a great day. The Dp was awesome, the crew as I mentioned. The boom guy I've worked with before and we couldn't figure out on what until I sat down at this big long table and we both got it. It was a film I worked on last year, where I played an FBI agent, called "Butterfly Screams". I was playing an attorney this go around but it was the sitting at a big official table that brought it back. Anyway that brings me back to the PA's not showing, in this business, it's a small community it's like cutting your nose off to spite your face. Also I believe I worked with the woman who played the opposing counsel. We didn't pin point it we were too busy having amazing metaphysical conversations.
It's great to be around people who talk the talk AND walk the walk. I think with that last statement I just had an epiphany, you draw people to you who are of like mind ( I know that but sometimes it hits you). But sometimes you can caught up with who just talk the talk, no judgments, they're not there yet but they think they are. It's very interesting or perhaps they're trying but they're using the words but not the actions. You know do unto to others as you would have done unto you as so forth. Sometimes it seems I have to get hit on the head to see what's been right in front of my face, all the signs. You also have to pay attention to who and what people are bringing to them. If it's consistent it's probably not a fluke. As usual I digress, today was one of those days when the stars are just lined up and everything was grooving amidst the setbacks which is the way it should be. If it's right in your heart it'll shine through the dark times. So those are some of the blessings going on today. I'm just really feeling things are back on the road I had not felt under my feet for a little while. It's all good lessons and "hard times" teach you and you get really appreciative when you're appreciated through word and action.
I love this work I truly do. It didn't hurt that I was coming off such an amazing weekend of inspiration in the choice of movies in my repertoire. Good times, I really feel the blessings abounding! Hallelujah! I'm gonna bask in it, the peaks and the valleys, they're all yummy in their own way.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
The future is mind
Yes. I meant mind. The future is in your mind. The present is now and all we have. IT is truly a gift. We did not make it into the third round for the Wonderland Festival and I was disappointed but we did get distinguished from the pack and that in and of itself was exciting. You are Here productions did a great job running the festival and even more so because it was their first time. It was a wonderful experience and I had a great time. And that my dear is that. You can't ask for more or you can but simply there is not . In the end it's all memories.
I am enJOYing today immensely. I have an audition tomorrow and one on Monday. I am planning on spending my late afternoon into evening at the MOMA tomorrow, writing, filling the well. I love to go to the cafe there. I'm a member and it's so ridiculous not be if you live in the city. It's $75 and you're a patron to the arts, you can pop in at any time spend 20 minutes or three hours and get invited to previews. It's awesome.
I am getting ready to start finding my agent and manager. To finish writing my book aha you didn't know I was up to that did you?!? I am just ready to have a lazy summer (if you know me, you are laughing because that means I'll only work 6 days instead of 7) and bask in the joys of the city. For example Opera in the park next week! Oh I love the Opera! I saw Madama Butterfly with my Aunt in April and the very next day I saw La Traviata by myself. The set was breathtaking! (Both) It was all just so beautiful, unfortunately the favorite subject seems to be women dying young from broken hearts and diseases. But c'est la vie. They're killing us off and doing it beautifully. But as usual I digress. I am just settling into what feels like a new phase and I am embracing the possibilities that lay ahead but mostly I am embracing the beauty of this moment right now. Ciao.
I am enJOYing today immensely. I have an audition tomorrow and one on Monday. I am planning on spending my late afternoon into evening at the MOMA tomorrow, writing, filling the well. I love to go to the cafe there. I'm a member and it's so ridiculous not be if you live in the city. It's $75 and you're a patron to the arts, you can pop in at any time spend 20 minutes or three hours and get invited to previews. It's awesome.
I am getting ready to start finding my agent and manager. To finish writing my book aha you didn't know I was up to that did you?!? I am just ready to have a lazy summer (if you know me, you are laughing because that means I'll only work 6 days instead of 7) and bask in the joys of the city. For example Opera in the park next week! Oh I love the Opera! I saw Madama Butterfly with my Aunt in April and the very next day I saw La Traviata by myself. The set was breathtaking! (Both) It was all just so beautiful, unfortunately the favorite subject seems to be women dying young from broken hearts and diseases. But c'est la vie. They're killing us off and doing it beautifully. But as usual I digress. I am just settling into what feels like a new phase and I am embracing the possibilities that lay ahead but mostly I am embracing the beauty of this moment right now. Ciao.
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