Sweet!

I had my first rehearsal for Insidious today. It was actually more of a read-through, meet your colleagues start establishing some relationships etc. I think this project is going to be life changing. I can feel it. The energy, the writer/director is awesome the people he surrounds himself with. I am learning. I think I have a gifts, talents what have you. I am kind, generous person but I keep drawing to me people who seem to use me, my generosity, kindness. I'm not sure what the lesson is for me but I am discovering it. I am ready to learn this lesson so I can move on. I mean why do I draw people like that to me? Why would I draw that subleter to me? Squatter really because subleter suggests she gave money to me! Ha! God I just have to remind myself that what goes around comes around. Anyway, I want to surround myself with amazing creative people who respect me and my work, as I respect them. I had such a great experience today, we read through the scene and did improvisation. It was so delicious, it's the stuff that feeds my soul. I was just thinking that what is important with this work outside of the obvious love and passion, is humility and appreciation. But true humility and the willingness to be taught and share the spotlight. Maybe I'm full of s**t but it's what I'm feeling at the moment.

I have to get back into the rhythm of writing everyday. I am just getting back into the swing of things this week. People are just coming back from August and Labor day vacations. Things have really just felt surreal. I've come back and I feel like I'm ready for August in the city! But hello I had August in Africa! I can't completely describe what it feels like to be in the city in August but I'll give you my rendition. If it's not blisteringly hot and humid, August is kind of nice in the city. Anyone who can get away does so the city just feels quiet. I just go to the museums and walk through the park and write. My business is usually pretty slow and I just roll with it. I like that feeling. When September rolls around the vibe just changes, I guess I kind of have the school mentality. I still think in semesters, of course I trained at Columbia University for years so my life did revolve around semesters up until very recently. I only left about4 months ago. So I guess that feels odd as well, not having the feeling that "school" is about to start up again.

So I am settling into the groove that I wish for my life to have going to rehearsal, talking to producers, other directors and lining up projects, writing, working out. Speaking of working out I got my ass kicked in a boxing class yesterday. I started to see spots and I almost passed out. So I had to leave the class which was no fun but instead of feeling like a big loser. I am now taking a boxing class everyday or kick boxing, it's partly research for my character and just good exercise. I felt a new resolve after that class and I took an intro to boxing class today and tomorrow it's gonna be kick boxing. Anyway life is sweet and I am writing a few articles regarding my trip so I'll share them later. I'll see you tomorrow. Ciao.

I'm Back Baby!!

Whew! I am back from traveling to Africa for 24 days! It was wonderful, enlightening, beautiful, exciting etc etc. I'm just now getting settled from jet lag but really I've been more messed up from the Malarone. It's got to be the anti-malaria pills than the jet lag because I've been away for a month in a foreign country (in Italy) and never felt quite like this. I was dizziness and slightly nauseous up until today yummy huh? I actually stopped taking the pill becuase i just couldn't take it anymore. I would bend down to get something and whoosh I would feel totally unsteady or just walking around. It's like perpetually being on a boat. I feel very out of practice in detailing my life, I mean it's been a month!! I figure I will give my take on my trip over the course of...my life! I mean how do you sum up this life changing trip in one blog?

I do have great news on the acting front. I actually was offered a role in the Romantic Troubadour Entertainment's next film "Insidious". I had auditioned on wed right before my trip and was told by the director I would definitely be called back for a second audition and I found out two weeks later when I was able to get to the internet, there's not a big internet thing happening out tin the middle of the Serengeti, that I was offered the role the very next day!! How exciting is that!!??? Also I had to turn down a role in the horror movie I had auditioned for the last week in July because the production dates conflicted with my trip. But the director told me to call him when I got back. Also the TV show "Tempting Joanna" is going to continue production and tale it in another direction or at least make sure all the production is done before shopping it which I am happy about. I received a phone call yesterday to do work for Good Day New York but it conflicted with our first read through of the script for Insidious so I couldn't do it but it felt good to be called. I know good things are coming.

Ok I just wanted to stop in, I'll be back later to talk about my nightmare sublet/squatter situation that really affected my piece of mind on this trip. Till then Ciao and it good to be back!

3 days and counting!

Have I mentioned that I love my life?I was offered a part in the film I auditioned for last week in Long Island. It was a different part then the two I had read for. I would love to do it but I am awaiting word on their production dates as I am going to be in Africa for the currently proposed dates, but I am hopeful. Wow and Hello! I am going to Afrika!!Safari Afrika ya!! So narrowing everything down, getting someone to watch my cats and various other things one must do before leaving on such a big trip. I am very much hoping to have work to come back to which would/will be so glorious. I am so excited right now, I'm practically bursting out of my skin!

I'm going to spend some time with best friend and force him to help me pack. Then it's up tomorrow at 5:30am, my favorite!! I will check in later.

Musings and Revelations

Ah I have slept in 2 days in a row! Deliciouso! I do love my sleep I just wish I could get it by going to sleep earlier but I got some so... no complaints! My best friend from high school is in town which is wonderful. I have very high expectations of what I expect in a friendship, because of what i give and deserve. And when I am around, or in touch with the people who have proven themselves to be steadfast and trustworthy friends, I know why I expect a lot. I have amazing friends who give a lot of themselves, and did I mention trustworthy? God I cannot explain how much that means to me. I really appreciate my time and I won't spend it with just anyone and there are few people for whom will I drop everything for but for those I will, they are well worth it. I mistake some people for good friends and well that always unfortunate, but you learn.

People you can trust your ideas with, your heart, that don't take who you are for granted. The people I call my closest friends I can not talk to them for months but when I do no time has passed, just events. there are truly generous of spirit and heart, but in the truest sense not because they're looking for something in return. I guess I am more keenly aware of this because my best friend is in town. But I will say this it is important to give people a chance, even if they, mess up, sometimes it's the messing up that awakens one to the value of the friendship.

I am puttering about as I am wont to do. I'm packing and putting things in a pile. I am mentally preparing myself for this trip. I'm also preparing for a very important audition. It's occupying a great deal of my mind and my thoughts. I keep trying on these characters and what motivates them. And GOD it's so fun. I truly love this work. I mean in my heart and deep down into my soul and sheesh. It's just joyous. I was watching Stomp the Yard, wow the techniques and the work they put into this movie. I was really impressed. I have found much in my life comes down to discipline. I have great respect for discipline and commitment. In work, in relationships, in life. Discipline and commitment are the foundations, oh yeah and being impeccable with your word. But simply my view is, if you're not impeccable in with word, there is no foundation for commitment or discipline. And that my dear is that. I have a great respect for people who are firm in these things. I am impressed by it and moved by integrity. Which for me are all really intertwined, your integrity makes you impeccable with your word, and commitment and discipline are the tools you use, the manifestations of your integrity. If you don't have integrity in your personal life, than you probably don't in your work life. The two are not separate , in fact nothing in this life is, separate that is.

Hmmm. I guess both my rants are connected, as I'm looking over them. My close friends are the people who have a lot of integrity in the way they live their lives but also in how they treat me. I respect that and because I respect them I treat them the same. I give my all in friendships, in relationships and in work, which I don't hold separate from my life. My art is my life as is everything else, all just expressions of who I am and what I wish to see and be and be apart of. I'm just excited about my life and all I'm learning, about my trip. And I'm real appreciative not just to have the opportunity to learn but to have people to love and be loved by as I walk through this delicious adventure, journey called life.

What?!!?

So I'm training my client this evening and I decide to look at my flight itinerary for my trip next week and I discover that I am in fact leaving the U.S. on August 2nd and arriving in Dar Es Salaam on August 3rd. Now this came as a shock to me because for some reason i have been under the impression that I was leaving the 3rd. So in addition to feeling that perhaps my thoughts of myself as being quite bright were maybe a little overshot but also I have lost an entire day! I have been planning on training people on Thursday and doing and last minute stuff, going to a birthday party wed evening. I mean I have lost an entire day! Oh well, on the bright side I'm really glad I looked and caught that today as opposed to, like say Thursday!?!!

So as I grieve for my lost day, I might as well grieve for my lost sleep. I'm not sure where I have put it and I desperately miss it. I am operating on approximately 4 whole hours, 2 of which occurred between the hours of 2 and 4 this afternoon. Not 2 solid hours mind you, but 2 nonetheless. Another client of mine today, after the one where I discovered my trip departure faux pas (whom by the way told me it was one of the most incoherent flight itinerary she's ever seen, even if it was an attempt to make me feel better I'll take it) said maybe I need a break. The lack of sleep is well a fair indicator. But tell me this, who's gonna catch up on sleep, when there is a country to explore??! I am not planning on sleeping a whole bunch on my trip but perhaps I'll sleep better. I am, truly, tired of it, the insomnia that is, and yes pun intended. Even as I mourn my lack of sleep, I am so loving my life, I can't even find the strength to complain, nor reason to.

I mean I have so many opportunities occurring for me right now, that in and of itself is delicious. I am claiming my life as a writer and an artist. I am about to embark on a trip of a lifetime. I am constantly learning and discovering new things about myself. Breaking patterns and dissolving limiting beliefs opening myself up to new challenges. seeing good and bad in things around me and finding forgiveness and again the lessons?!?!? I mean really this is the stuff of life. I started out my day on set of educational industrial for ANDA. It was a lot of fun and a short day. I mean hell yeah. Even though I'm tired as all get out I made to the gym and rode the spin bike for 30 minutes. I have finally given up on chastising myself for not enjoying running. I am not a fan of running. I am in awe of people who do it and maybe out in the mountains on a dirt road I'd be there but on a treadmill no thank you. And truthfully I highly doubt even then I'll be a fan, but you know as they say, never say never. However, my knees are just not thrilled about it and I doubt they'll change their mind but we'll see.
I totally forgot my best friend is coming to town! Wow I am tired, so on that note I am going to watch The Fountain which so far seems rather promising. I mean a love story and time travel?...heck you got me. I will give you a report tomorrow. Ciao.

Sidewalks of New York

I believe that was the title of a movie. OK I have a pet peeve I need to air here. I am sure it's not particular to New York but I know it happens here all the time. Here it is, do not speed past me to get in front of me and then slow down! What the %$8#@ is that?!? And the flip side, pretend you're aware that you're not the only person on the planet and let me get by. Just shift to the side it's not that hard people, it's called awareness. I don't want to be so up on you that I can count your neck hair. I really don't and I'm not trying to be rude but I am trying to get somewhere and if it's your day off or you're strolling and stopping to smell the roses, hey that's cool too. But don't force me to do so with you, just move to the side let me by. I never mind it if I'm having a slow day (when does that happen?) and I'm strolling, to just shift my body to let a person get on with their journey to their destination. I am aware that some of my frustration is that I live in midtown and there are a lot of tourists. However, this does not give you the license to act like the only person or people on the sidewalk. In fact some of the same rules one would apply to driving in your respective hometowns apply here but on the sidewalks.

While we're on a this subject here's a topic that relates. What's the thought process behind stopping at the bottom of the stairs or the escalator? I'm just curious. Or the top of the stairs for that matter? Let me understand this you're getting off the escalator for example and you're not sure what your next step is going to be or where you're going. And apparently you've decided that the best recourse to discovering this, is to stop at the bottom or top of the stairs/escalator, you name it, right in front of it because....? Because you're the only person on it?The only person in the universe? I just can't get my head around it and it irks me to no end. Just move to the freaking side! Oh my God, it's not that hard people, just move to the side! It's called awareness, manners, a brain, whatever you want to call it just do it. Get out the way. You're pissing me off and I'm seriously wondering when Darwin is going to kick in with this business. I mean really.

So that's just my feelings about it. The title sidewalks of New York could really lead to so many topics but alas this was the one I felt the need to exorcise. All that being said, I'm out. Ciao.

Flowing days

I'm just eking out the rest of my day. I am exhausted. I can't go to sleep before 3am which is just ridiculous and I'm tired of it, Pun intended!! I know some it has to do with general excitement with all the wonderful things going on in my life, one part things hanging over my head that I need (bad word) to do and another part, I'm just a night owl. I mean I always have been as little girl I was staying up reading until 2 am by the sliver of light by my door, hello glasses. What can you do? I did it to myself. But I've been trying to look at the insomnia thing by asking myself what it costs me. What am I less likely to do because I'm tired? What do I get less enjoyment out of because my brain is operating at a slower capacity? they say that getting less than 4 hours of sleep is tantamount to being drunk, well I don't drink but sometimes my word retrieval is less than extraordinary. C'est la vie. So it costs me plans sometimes, and maybe a workout or two and definitely... this is big... I get to chastise myself. Aha that's it, everything is going really well and I am sabotaging my full experience of the joy because I'm so tired I'm not fully present. Booya, that is an epiphany! Alright well now I can do something about it from the perspective of knowing why. I will not chastise myself so I get not payoff and well I'll figure the rest out but that really was a grand slam.

So it turns out they are going to go ahead with the production dates that conflict with my trip but I still believe you never know. Until camera's rolling anything can happen and even after that. So I am just happy about the people I met and all the creation and momentum that went into the last week. Great news on another front though, I just booked an educational industrial for Anda this Friday. I'm psyched. I don't know the particulars yet but I do know it's a cafe scene and I'm a professional type, well alright then. You want it, you got it. I got tons of business attire which I find amusing because I so am not the office type but I do love a good suit. So i await the particulars and I celebrate the work I get and don't get.

Oh yeah I went to Long Island today for an audition for a horror Film. How fun would that be? I so do not watch horror films but I would love to be in one. The reason I don't watch horror films is simply I am a scaredy cat, that and my imagination is just fine on it's own. I do not need help in that department whatsoever. I am still traumatized by Nightmare on Elm street, forget Carrie, The Shining or The Exorcist. I just can't go there. Even some psychological thrillers are too much for me. I personally can't take too much violence but mostly it's the supernatural Amityville horror stuff and you got me screaming Uncle. On the other hand I would LOVE to do a film like Grindhouse! I haven't seen it yet but that machine gun leg Rose McGowan had?!! Hello!!? That's just hot and looks like a load of fun and awesome challenge. I dunno but of course I would just love to work with Tarentino and Rodriguez. Anyway it would be great to branch out and do a horror film. We'll see what happens either way I had a great day and I am gonna kick this sleep issues derriere! Ciao.