Sweet Dreams

I've been getting inspired. I had rehearsal today for the film "Canine Custody" we're filming on Monday. I have to say I love this work more than anything. It truly fills my soul. I even enjoy auditioning. I know most actors hate it. I'm not saying that it's not wonderful to just have a role given to you but having done some casting I know that just isn't how it works. It happens of course but I love auditioning because it's a chance, an opportunity to try on a character. I love just being really present in that room and giving it all you got and being part of the creation of this character. Even if you're not whom they choose you are part of creating the character. Sometimes just in not being right for it, you're helping the casting people, director, producers etc get clear on what they don't want, and therefore on what they do want. Or you could be close and that helps get them closer. Or you could be it and that's just icing on that yummy cake I call my sweet dream. It's just wonderful to be following my dream. I had that audition on Friday and it felt good, that's where that little diatribe came from.

Today we had rehearsal and I realized that this is what I want to wake up for, that and writing. It's just coming together with fellow artists and creating something together, a sculpture out of clay but we're the clay. It feels so good and to be in the room with humble people, artists bringing it to the table. I was watching Black Snake Moan just a little while ago and I have to say I loved the movie. The metaphors, the acting, the message and the work everyone put into it. I really want to do gritty revealing work like that, stuff I believe in. It got me thinking about the film " The Visit" I was producing, that's been postponed, and all your heart that goes into a project. Really and literally your soul, as an actor, as a producer. If you're doing both like I was on that project you put everything on the line your work (the pays the bills kind), your name, your time, your trust, your dreams for yourself, the project and everyone involved. The thing is I love this work. I love telling the story, finding the story, creating the story! I have a deep passion for it. It was great watching the behind the scenes of Black Snake Moan and everyone really collaborated, they worked with each other. It looked like they didn't take for granted that you don't make a film by yourself, you can't. Even a one man show takes other people. It's interesting I thought about how today looking around the table at rehearsal, I was thinking about how we are all coming together to tell this story and every single one of us is necessary and integral to the whole. Not just the actors or the writer but also the director,DP, the crew and even the location, everything is conspiring to tell the story.

I am dreaming of working on this film and others in the future. I'm dreaming about being valued and really collaborating, not just words, and how much that really feeds my soul. I know and believe it's possible. I know I will do work like Black Snake Moan, that I am really proud of. Where I am allowed and encouraged to bring my creativity to the table AND be recognized for it. These are my dreams, these are the dreams of many actors, artists. I know my dream will be reality. I feel it in my soul.

Thriving Thursday

Alright I've decided to just give in and indulge my love of the alliteration. Why fight it? They come easily to me and rather than sitting here racking my brain for a clever non alliterative post title I figure go with the flow don't fight it young lady! So It was a great Thursday even though I was boasting very little sleep. I was so tired last night but I could not go to sleep to save my life. I guess I get caught up in the various things I have to do and then my brain starts running rampant and wind down time and...you see where this is going don't you. Honestly I sometimes find myself very exhausting. But luckily I love myself so I choose to not break up with me. Instead I choose to accept my faults and instead resolve to give up coffee for the umpteenth time. The problem is I don't have many vices I don't really drink, smoke or do any other fun stuff. Adam Ants song don't drink, don't smoke what do you do, flitters across my brain. And like that with one fell swoop I just aged myself or professed a scary love for 80's music, either way I'm not telling. But I feel almost like I have to have a vice and sadly insomnia does not seem to qualify. Ah phooey, and there it is I'm truly a nerd and hence the need for a vice. I mean who says phooey other me?... and my fellow nerdians.

So I will start a new paragraph to see if I can escape the diatribe that ran away with me above. I had two auditions today and as of this posting I have been cast in one of the roles! Yeehaw! The film is called "Canine Custody" and I play an attorney for the husband who is trying to gain custody of the beloved dog. One of the wonderful aspects to getting this job, outside of the fact that the portion of the script I have read (I am awaiting its entirety) is excellent and the lead actress/producer was really just so kind and gracious, but the crowning part is they were looking to cast a man for the role at first and the role I had originally submitted for was cast before I was able to audition! Ergo and forthwith and what not, they changed the role to a woman after seeing me. I am feeling so blessed at this moment I am full of joy!!!

Alright, I am sooo happy and its a comedy. I love comedy as you may know if you've been with me for any period of time, I am a self proclaimed sitcom whore. What can I say, give me a good, well written sitcom with actors with superb comedic timing and I am riveted. My favorites at the moment are "Girlfriends", "Dharma and Greg" and always "Scrubs" but I am taking a hiatus from "Scrubs" because they only show a limited release of seasons and I can quote entire episodes, okay so I exaggerate but I don't want to overload on them, kind of like too much good chocolate it would be a shame to overindulge. One of my dreams is to be on Scrubs which would be great considering it's their last season coming up and I believe filming begins in August. well I just put it out there in the universe and who knows. No matter what I would love to work with several of the cast members in the future. So I also went on a go-see for Makari cosmetics today. I didn't meet the height requirements but as the job I got today testifies you never know, just stay open and appreciative for the opportunity to be seen and to even be doing what you love. Lord knows I am and they said they needed someone, an actress with teleprompter experience for future projects and well I'm your lady. So I will end on this positive note. I want to go read my script... we film on Monday and rehearse on Saturday and I have another audition tomorrow...Hallelujah! Life is truly delicious.