Ahhh

Well I've fallen in love, yup I have with... a coyote. The love has become so deep that it willed me to write again. You can check out my new love at The Daily Coyote. So when did I fall in love so deeply and completely that I was moved to write again well today. I was checking out my daily doses of cuteness, my staples are either Cute Overload or I can has cheezburger
or to be honest it's both. So I found my baby love on Cute Overload and well I went to the blog and really haven't quite left. I kept a tab open all day so I could check in on the cuteness when I'm working or puttering about come back to his picture and have my heart become all full and smushy all over again. so you can go and see for yourself why I'm in love and let you have your own experience.

So where have I been? Certainly having experiences and growing but pretty much holding it in for the processing. I had an experience that where I felt wounded and I needed to process it and get to a place where I guess I felt safe enough to start sharing again. Hmmm it's not altogether unusual to think that I would be moved by love to break open my cocoon. I have discovered in order to work and be my best, I not only need to trust myself and prepare and be fully present but I also need to feel respected. Interestingly I had an experience this weekend where I didn't feel very respected and I resorted to old ways of dealing with it just bury it and show a good face. Essentially, hide your emotions and deal, a very human animal way to deal with things as opposed to a human spirit place where I could just remove myself from the situation. I am not suggesting that anyone did anything wrong it was a wonderful learning experience for me. I am so grateful I was able to identify the situation for what it was and most importantly my old habitual way of dealing with it.

It's interesting you can grow and evolve and seemingly move forward but not the way you do when you get the opportunity to see, really see yourself in light of the way you are used to reacting. Does that make any sense? It was such a gift to see where I was and where I am even though I reacted in a typical way, the grand joy of it...is I realized it!! Anyway so back to realizing that respect goes both ways so if I'm not feeling respected or loved where am I not giving respect or love, or where am I not respecting or loving myself, asking for what I want, putting up with less than I deserve? So this past month when I've been awol I've been exploring that and discovering where I stand with these ideas in my work, with myself, my personal life. It's been a great time of trial and error and exploration.

Anyway I am doing some great things and I am excited to tell you all about tomorrow but today I just wanted to jump back in the pool and tomorrow I'll share a backstroke with you. In the meantime be blessed, respected and loved... by you! Ciao.