Video, Video's and the BBC

What you ask has one to do with the other? Well not very much except me. Over the weekend I was cast in a video for an alternative rock song. I play a soldier who misses her little girl that should be interesting. I'm excited to work with these people. Then today I went for a casting where they were looking for extremely hot sexy women. So as you can imagine the outfit I wore was radically different than the one I wore for the soldier video. It's one of the many things that's interesting about being in this business you can be an attorney one day, a jewel thief the next, the following you're portraying a serious role as a soldier missing her child and the next week wearing an oohh lala outfit and the only requirement is to smile and be hot! Anyway obviously I love it it's a little schizophrenic in that way and that suits me just fine.

So where does the BBC come into play? Well I got an email from a director I worked with telling me my picture is on the BBC in reference to his film "Butterfly Screams" I was in last fall, The link. The only problem with the article is that it's in Urdu which is fine if you speak Urdu but unfortunately I don't! Oh well I'm still really happy the film is getting press and me with it! It was a really great project to work on, the director, Mumtaz Hussain is an incredibly talented artist in many respects. I met some really awesome people. Anyway it's just good to see things moving around. I really like to be busy so I hope to have more to report in the upcoming couple of days. Till then Ciao!

Leave My Penis Alone!

Ok I used that title on purpose for a few reasons. Has anyone else besides me been getting a lot, I mean A LOT email targeted to increase your penis size, finally make your girl happy, add inches to your c*#k and other variations on the theme? It seems that someone or several people are very concerned with my penis size and while I'm thinking Aww, how sweet you care but...I'm a GIRL! A woman actually but either way you figure it there is no need to increase my nonexistent penis. In fact you could say I'm quite satisfied with it. If it is so tiny I can't find it than, well I guess that's a good thing what with me being all set with my vagina and all.

I mean sheesh I am literally getting between 15-20 emails of either increasing my penis size or investing in this stock or another, or herbal viagra or some other pharmaceuticals. I am really tired of it all. I went looking online for ways to stop it but then you have to hook up with some other group and I am wary of that. It was mildly amusing at first but it feels like there has been an influx and it seems specifically to be going thought my website email, alas what can I do? Now that would be something useful to get adverts for in my inbox. Anyway I'm hoping there'll be some mitigation in the swarm of increase your size emails, in the meanwhile I suppose I could give it some thought.

Freedom in Truth?

So I was watching the movie the Freedom writers and I was touched and inspired by the story. I think it's hard not to be. As I was watching, amongst a multitude of feelings and tears not just for the people in the story but for my own life, revelations and struggles. I realized one that I had not felt inspired in a long time and i started to write, to pour out my feelings (not here) and I wrote for a little while and went back to the behind the scenes features. I was mulling over this blog and how it started because I want to write, to express , myself, my views, my heart and my trials. What I realized though is that I have been holding them in for fear of hurting other peoples feelings, when the truth is I'm hurt. The thing I don't want to hurt becuase I've been hurt but I do want to express. I want to stop censoring myself so that other people can feel better when I may be holding back not only my voice but someone else who may recognize themselves in me and realize they have a right to their own.

I want to recount my trials in acting, being a writer and a human being who is consciously struggling to make choices that support what I want my life to be, my art and my heart. What I was realizing though is I haven't been here not for awhile I've been hiding and just struggling to stay afloat. Holding back my emotions and thoughts so that I could, yes process them but also so as not to rock the boat. The boat that I think I was under so how could I rock it? anyway I'm going to try to write more truthfully because quite frankly if I don't then why bother there's enough fluffy crap out there I don't have to add to it. But also I think when you speak the truth it resonates and I want my voice, tune to resonate somewhere even if it's only with me. o here is a pledge to keep revealing myself even if it's scary. Even if it means I have to write through the fear of rejection. I mean hell if I've got an issue with rejection I sure picked some tough careers! Anyway that's what I had to say. Be well.

Jittery Jumping Jacks

I may have to end my love affair with coffee. Yes it's true. I'm not saying I'm going to I just may have to. I had an audition today for a Law Firm Commercial and I had just had a cup of coffee, not a good idea. You're adrenaline is already pumping at one of these things and then to have your heart racing because of a beloved drink-not good. But it went well besides my getting jittery toward the end. So as always, learning. I had another audition later for an acting troupe and it turned out the director was looking at my resume and noted my degree was in Geology and he also has an degree in Geology! How is that for odd?!! I told him if nothing else I have a story. I'm always happy to be out there meeting people, networking etc. I have rehearsal almost every day this week. So yay! I love to work!

My father is leaving for Tanzania tomorrow morning so my life is going to be shifting to a more normal schedule. I'm going to miss him but it'll be good for me to have less distractions. I've had a reduction in my client base recently so I've decided to spend more time writing. So again more of a shift toward the life I wish to be leading. Although the bills must be paid. I'm sure the universe has something good in store for me. I'm ready for the next step. Okay I'm going to sign off. Ciao.

Long Live Vigo!

That was the name of the film I shot today. I played Vanessa Vigo a jewel thief. It was a lot of fun. It was filmed using green screen technology. The basic premise is that I am a jewel thief and my co-star and love interest is a cop and that spells problems. The director was very cool and he said he'll be writing something in the future with me in mind, which is awesome. It was a good day. I also got called in for an audition today and luckily I had time to go before getting to set. Tonight the Emmy's are on, so I always like it when I'm working on the day there is an award show that I intend to be attending some day soon. It was pretty straightforward and I was able to get home and spend a little time with my Dad. I also noticed that on Mandy's.com there is an ad for the web commercial , Get U Noticed I did last year. More exposure! I'm really happy about that. I've got 2 auditions tomorrow and I am pretty exhausted. So I'll check back in tomorrow till then Ciao.

Edging Back In Slllooowwwllyy

Ok I know I went from daily posts to zero (When I was in Tanzania) to once a week. Also I'm trying to stop letting myself be distracted. I am going on auditions and go-see's and I got a film this week. I'm shooting tomorrow actually. I'm pretty excited because I get to play a jewel thief and that is fun! I've been hanging with my Dad and getting things lined up so that my dreams can be realized while I have some security.

I've also been dealing with the aftermath of having this awful woman squat at my house and my cats were emaciated. I mean even my larger cat (I will not call her fat!) lost weight which just makes me realize they were either not being fed or were so disturbed by this woman's energy that they stopped eating. So... I'm pretty bitter about that in addition to her stealing my peace of mind while I was there and hello she didn't pay so that set me back. Thank God for Karma so I have to release it to the Universe. I'm just trying to make sure I learn the lesson so that I don't have to keep going through this type of situation where I get taken advantage of. And for some reason it always involves my apartment, whether it's boyfriends or friends, so there is something for me to learn. I'm done with it! Moving on to the next lesson in store for me!

So I've got rehearsals next week, filming tomorrow and two auditions on Monday and one on Thursday so I'm plodding forward with my dreams and for that I'm grateful. i just want to add in the prosperity and good relationships but I suspect I need to apply better boundaries and learn to spot when people are out to use me. It's so boring already time for a change! Alright I'll be back tomorrow to talk about how shooting went. Ciao.

Sweet!

I had my first rehearsal for Insidious today. It was actually more of a read-through, meet your colleagues start establishing some relationships etc. I think this project is going to be life changing. I can feel it. The energy, the writer/director is awesome the people he surrounds himself with. I am learning. I think I have a gifts, talents what have you. I am kind, generous person but I keep drawing to me people who seem to use me, my generosity, kindness. I'm not sure what the lesson is for me but I am discovering it. I am ready to learn this lesson so I can move on. I mean why do I draw people like that to me? Why would I draw that subleter to me? Squatter really because subleter suggests she gave money to me! Ha! God I just have to remind myself that what goes around comes around. Anyway, I want to surround myself with amazing creative people who respect me and my work, as I respect them. I had such a great experience today, we read through the scene and did improvisation. It was so delicious, it's the stuff that feeds my soul. I was just thinking that what is important with this work outside of the obvious love and passion, is humility and appreciation. But true humility and the willingness to be taught and share the spotlight. Maybe I'm full of s**t but it's what I'm feeling at the moment.

I have to get back into the rhythm of writing everyday. I am just getting back into the swing of things this week. People are just coming back from August and Labor day vacations. Things have really just felt surreal. I've come back and I feel like I'm ready for August in the city! But hello I had August in Africa! I can't completely describe what it feels like to be in the city in August but I'll give you my rendition. If it's not blisteringly hot and humid, August is kind of nice in the city. Anyone who can get away does so the city just feels quiet. I just go to the museums and walk through the park and write. My business is usually pretty slow and I just roll with it. I like that feeling. When September rolls around the vibe just changes, I guess I kind of have the school mentality. I still think in semesters, of course I trained at Columbia University for years so my life did revolve around semesters up until very recently. I only left about4 months ago. So I guess that feels odd as well, not having the feeling that "school" is about to start up again.

So I am settling into the groove that I wish for my life to have going to rehearsal, talking to producers, other directors and lining up projects, writing, working out. Speaking of working out I got my ass kicked in a boxing class yesterday. I started to see spots and I almost passed out. So I had to leave the class which was no fun but instead of feeling like a big loser. I am now taking a boxing class everyday or kick boxing, it's partly research for my character and just good exercise. I felt a new resolve after that class and I took an intro to boxing class today and tomorrow it's gonna be kick boxing. Anyway life is sweet and I am writing a few articles regarding my trip so I'll share them later. I'll see you tomorrow. Ciao.